Finding me

I have been separated for more than a year and a half and what I miss is moments of love and affection which emotionally I am not capable of right now.

I listen to Brain Mcknight and Tamia, it makes me feel like walking down the aisle again but just for the day to feel special. Wear that beautiful gown and dance the night away, then end it the next day and have a wedding on a mountain, a island in front of a waterfall. Replaying a beautiful special day that is filled with love over and over again. But nothing further than that, it ends there.

What I have learnt so far it that we all have our own journey and every now and then we need a hug. When all our layers are peeled back and we naked and vulnerable. It is a scary place to be but it is necessary so that we can grow.

We all are searching for something and it is a hard journey to take, to face yourself and look deep within one self is the most scary yet freeing experience you can ever go through. To love yourself unconditionally and humble yourself by accepting your flaws and mistakes.

You open a new door, a new you! A place that no one can take away from you, a love that continues to grow within you until it spills out and lights the dark.

You can not love someone until you learn to love yourself! I believe it and a relationship can not work if both sides are not equal. It is a give and take, 50/50 which a lot of relationships lack.

I am not an expert on relationships but I have experienced and observed relationships in their natural habitat. Mine was definitely cringe but at the end of the day both are to blame.

Have you ever watched Elton John’s Rocketman, Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, Tina Turner’s What's love got to do with it or any huge stars life story. The struggles are real, it is sad but there is mostly a happy ending. Sometimes we go through all the sharks before we find our dolphins, within that journey we learn to find happiness in the most unexpected places. The beauty of being broken and picking up those pieces, pushing forward and learning to love our scars. Loving ourselves unapologetically. I am still finding my way and so are many of us on this rollercoaster of life.

Love and light to all, may your heart lead you to the greatest love of your life. The love of accepting yourself with no judgement or regret.






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