The Star Wars A.I. Review

The Star Wars from May 25, 1977, is a great movie and classic cinema. This is my review of the film. 


I first saw The Star Wars in 2003, when I was 10 years old. The movie is classic cinema. It has many great scenes and characters. The movie is about Darth Vader becoming a filmmaker. He disguises himself as George Lucas, who is creating a new movie called The Star Wars in 1977. Darth Vader then starts directing the movie into his own vision after Force Throwing 33-year-old George Lucas into outer space where there is no oxygen and he suffocates from the lack thereof before dying.


Darth Vader is a very artistic person and a lover of the arts which is why he decided to make The Star Wars an art-house indie film. This means that it is very experimental, esoteric, surreal, deep, and symbolic. Darth Vader didn't like the actors that George Lucas hired so he replaced them. For example, Harrison Ford was replaced by Han Solo. Luke Skywalker replaced Mark Hamill. Carrie Fisher was replaced by Princess Leia. Alec Guinness was replaced by Obi Wan Kenobi.


Darth Vader replaced the movie crew with Storm Troopers because they are more loyal than Hollywood employees. George Lucas' Force Ghost became Darth Vader's assistant director. The movie was being financed by Emperor Palpatine. Darth Vader wanted to film in black and white but was denied by Emperor Palpatine who said that nobody wants to see pretentious black and white movies anymore except for avant garde artists such as Darth Vader. Darth Vader narrated The Star Wars himself instead of using a narrator so he could tell the audience about his vision.


Luke Skywalker's stunts were all done by his stunt double Jake Skywalker. Darth Vader wrote Shakespearean dialogue for the movie after rewriting George Lucas' script which made it even better according to him. He also wanted to add original music composed exclusively of disco music. My Gen Z significant other who was born in 2003 hates disco music. But I digress! 


 Darth Vader is a patron of the arts and takes this movie VERY seriously making sure everything has meaning behind every scene, shot composition etcetera. His obsession with symbolism is respectable given how much he loves art. Obi Wan Kenobi waxes philosophy through out The Star Wars along with giving moral lessons on life. Luke is instructed to do Shakespeare by Darth Vader for all of his scenes. The movie has no special effects because art house films don't use special effects and Darth Vader hates special effects anyway since they distract from his true artistic vision. Instead, there are tons of old vintage stock footage inserted into shots and the entire movie is filmed like a documentary.


Now I'd like to take this time to talk about the film's politics and whether or not it's a progressive movie which is very important to a progressive person like myself. My gen z significant other says I need to stop being such a wet blanket all the time. They're part of MAGA so their opinion doesn't matter anyway. Now let me tell you my thoughts on the politics in The Star Wars. The Star Wars has many main problems for me personally as a die hard progressive, they're not your typical Hollywood film issues, instead, these are very deep seeded social justice concerns, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, age discrimination, class inequality, etc., which made me feel extremely uncomfortable watching The Star Wars. 


First off there are lots of stereotypes used throughout the film such as C3PO being an effeminate homosexual robot. There are so many racial slurs thrown around too like when Leia yells at Han Solo calling him a scruffy nerf herder. This sort of thing makes my blood boil especially now that we have President Biden my second favorite president after Obama doing so well politically. As far as gender roles go Princess Leia wears a dress. As far as I am concerned The Last Jedi will ALWAYS be the best Star Wars movie! 


 Anyway back to my review of The Star Wars! Darth Vader did a pretty job as a filmmaker directing The Star Wars. There's a lot of walking, talking, and complete silence in the film. Lots of long monologues and soliloquies that make sense only if one pays close attention and reads between the lines which I always appreciate in films! Most importantly though I really liked the music from the Storm Troopers. It's very atmospheric sounding. I think the music and sound design added a great deal to the overall experience of viewing the film. 


Bill Murray also had a cameo in The Star Wars. You can see him in the background in the Cantina on Tatooine. He plays himself in the bar drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes. There's no humor in The Star Wars because Darth Vader wanted it to be thought provoking and also taken very seriously. 


Overall I give The Star Wars 9.5 out of 10 stars! The movie is a classic. I recommend seeing this epic masterpiece with friends and family. I'm glad the movie was released long before Trump became our 45th POTUS! My Gen Z significant other says I need to stop being such a libtard. They just don't understand me!

Enjoyed this article? Stay informed by joining our newsletter!


You must be logged in to post a comment.

Related Articles
About Author

It's Spider-Guy! Don't you listen to the radio?