Over coming abuse isn't easy, believe me I know. Grew up abused and had many abusive relationships. It isn't finding that one person to get you out of it. It takes finding your own value and saying enough is enough! I'm not a human punching bag, I'm not here for you to build yourself up by dragging me down and my mind is not your personal play ground! My emotions are my own not your toys! You have to know you're better than to that and no you will not change them no matter how hard you try nor how much you love them. What you feel isn't love, it's fear. The fear of not knowing who you are without them. Embrace that fear and let it be your strength. It's ok to stand alone, be the loan wolf. Especially if you have kids. You don't want to make them suffer or grow up to hurt others the way you're being hurt or them, teach them it's ok to break away from that and be better, stronger, smarter, happier away from that life.