How to Manage Negative Thoughts

Your Best Life : Managing Negative Thoughts — The Choice is Yours



“In the space between stimulus (what happens)
and how we respond, lies our freedom to
choose, Ultimately, this power to choose
is what defines us as human beings.
We may have limited choices, but we can
always choose”
Stephen R. Covey

 

We all  get frustrated with our jobs, and maybe these aggravations are obvious to be expected in the midst of a busy 10 to 12-hour work day. Although, working with electronic medical records, untangling insurance hassles, managing high patient volumes, and combatting declining reimbursement can wear us down, and unfortunately, these day to day stressors are unlikely to dissipate in the near future. Indeed, our workplace frustrations can generate a cascade of negative thinking, which, left unchallenged, can cause a descent into negative emotion, burnout, descouragment, and even unintentional harm to ourselves and even others. We all have the freedom to decide how we respond to our stressors, and what we decide to focus on will, in large measure, rule the amount of peace in our lives. Although, we are in control of our circumstances by choosing positivity. But, without the proper mental training, we are far more likely to let our circumstances dictate our emotions. There's a power of practicing mindfulness, gratitude, and kindness as a way to combat the negative thoughts that batter our brains throughout the day. But, how do we train our minds to not only recognize negative thinking in the moment, but to consciously choose a mentally healthier path for handling difficult circumstances? 

 

 RECOGNIZING  NEGATIVE  THOUGHTS

 

Just as breathing happens without our conscious control, negative thinking will always occupy a chamber of our minds. We can empower these thoughts, allowing them to undermine our mood, or we can recognize them for what they truly are—distortions conceived in emotional pain.

 

Negative thinking happens at an unconscious level and is often the root cause of some of our negative behaviour. But how can you become aware of the things you don’t even know you are thinking about?  Recognising negative thinking patterns can provide you with the tools to disrupt intrusive thoughts and create a healthier view on life. It is possible to change negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings and behaviour, but first you have to learn to recognise your negative thinking patterns. 

 

   CHARACTERISTICS OF NEGATIVE THINKING

 

• AUTOMATICThey just pop into your head without any effort on your part

• DISTORTEDThey do not fit all of the facts or are just generally wrong

• UNHELPFULThey affect the way you feel and behave. Make it difficult to change and stop you from getting what you want out of life

• BELIEVABLEYou accept them as facts and it does not occur to you to question them

• INTRUSIVE You do not choose to have them, they can be very violent or disturbing and they can be very difficult to switch off

Unhelpful thinking patterns differ in subtle ways. But they all involve distortions of reality and irrational ways of looking at situations and people. There are many different types of cognitive distortions that contribute to negative thinking. Learning more about these distortions and remembering that thoughts are not facts may help lessen the power of these negative thinking patterns. Thought stopping might seem to help in the short term, but over time, it leads to more anxiety.  

 

We all struggle with negative thoughts from time to time. To let go of them and replace them, awareness is key. When it comes to change, awareness is the first step. Trying to stop negative thoughts through willpower alone is like fumbling around in a dark room trying to find a key — it’s a whole lot easier once you turn on the light.

1. Slow Down

 

To become aware of your negative thoughts, create quiet time in your day and whitespace in your schedule.

 

When life is go-go-go, it may be difficult to hear the extent of your inner ego. You may just get bits and pieces without ever realizing how much it’s really affecting you sunconciously. 

 

You could find it helpful to make time for your inner world by putting away your phone. For example, instead of driving while listening to a podcast, or watching YouTube while you eat a meal, power down your technology and listen to your thought loops instead. Not exactly fun. But when you create silence, you can finally hear your inner voice speak.

 

2. Write Notes in a "Thought Log"

 

The best way to get to know your subject (you) is with a bit of data collection. You can start by carrying around a little notebook in your pocket, or creating a fresh list on your phone.

 

 

Be eager. Every time you hear a negative thought cross your mind, write it down and make a note of what triggered it. Once in a while, look them over and notice what stands out to you.

 

3. Meditation , Daily!

 

You don’t even have to worry about “doing” anything as you sit there, like quieting your thoughts. Simply watch the show in your mind. Meditation creates a neutral zone for observation. It provides behind-the-scenes access to your thoughts so you can watch them without having to identify with them. It creates a sense of choice: You can believe your thoughts, or watch them go by.

 

* * *If you can, try to meditate for 5 to 20 minutes each morning. If you don’t feel like creating a whole ritual, it can be as simple as sitting up in bed* * *

   

 WHY DO I KEEP HAVING BAD THOUGHTS?

 

Believe it or not, negative thoughts are your brain’s way of trying to protect you. Your mind is like an advanced software program, constantly picking up new information and sorting pieces of intel into “good” and “bad” piles, so that it knows whether to repeat, delete, or shelve for later. The problem is, the more your brain does this, the better it gets at it. Negative thinking becomes an efficient super-highway in the prefrontal cortex, bypassing perspective and rational thought. 

 

On top of that, our built-in mechanism to counterbalance these negative thoughts — the frontal lobe — can be easily overridden by fear, sadness, or trauma. certain mental health conditions are related to rumination, excess worry, or negative self-perception, which can all contribute to negative thinking.

 

Including Some Of The Following:

• Anxiety Disorders

• Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD)

• Bipolar Disorder

• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

• Depression

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

• PTSD and much more! 

 

BIG Thanks to something called “neuroplasticity” — the plastic nature of your brain — you may be able to reroute the thoughts in your brain with some attention, intention, and training.

 

What are some examples of negative thoughts?

 

Below are some common negative thinking patterns – see if any of them sound familiar or are ways of thinking you notice yourself engaging in.  

 

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.

DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

MIND READING: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.

FORTUNE TELLING: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.

MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him” “He’s a damn louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.”

 

Recognizing one or more of the cognitive distortions that you struggle with is a positive first step. It is something you can build on and work to improve. But how? 

 

                   DO NOT RESIST! 

 

Once your mind consciously recognizes your negative emotions, there is a binary choice: Resist or accept the negative thinking.  Accepting negative thoughts enables us to disarm them, while resisting merely gives them more power. What do you do once you recognize and accept your negative thoughts? It may be helpful to adopt a name for the seemingly stubborn negative chatter in your mind.  I refer to my negative internal dialogue as “The Tiny Voice” and recognize it for what it truly is—thoughts conceived by the collective pain in my subconscious. Admittedly, labeling a voice in your head sounds a bit juvenile, but , it helps create space between my thinking and reality. Once “The Tiny Voice” starts to speak, I take a step back, label it, and return to focusing on the task at hand. In reality, I am practicing mindfulness, defined as the practice of living in the moment. Mindfulness has been shown to decrease anxiety and depression, while increasing feelings of overall well-being. Practicing mindfulness takes training, and those who have never practiced it before may have trouble locking into the present, or may not know how to process the distractions that inevitably arise. As those distractions occur—as they inevitably will—one need only identify them as thoughts or feelings, and return to the focus of the meditation, whether that is a breath, an object, or whatever it happens to be. Doing so helps the practitioner of mindfulness achieve a quieter mind. A quiet mind is a powerful mind. Once quiet, it is easier to arrive at more-balanced thoughts.

 

Uplifts; a kind word, a generous act, or courtesy accrued throughout the day

This act of kindness or gratitude will buoy one’s spirits in the midst of even the most challenging of days. Naturally, when embroiled in negative thought, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to offer a kind word or gesture. Whenever I find myself angry and in judgmental mode, I pause, recognize that my thoughts are steeped in negativity and decide to find something to love in that person. This exercise becomes easier with practice. The present moment is filled with blessings. The fact that we are alive and can read these pages is indeed justification for gratitude. 

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